New Beginnings are easier than one week later.

 Good Morning,

Its Sunday Jan 22, 2023 and 7:41 my time, which is Arizona, USA.  Arizona refuses to adapt. 105 years after Daylight Savings Time was introduced, it still refuses to acknowledge its existence, so in the winter I am living in sync with those who live behind the Zion curtain (Utah) and in summer I live in sync with the progressive site of my favorite RPG Shadowrun (Seattle). 

Luckily Arizona accepts the Gregorian calendar along with the rest of the United States. However I am currently an attempted Jew, which means for me it is also the 29th day of Tevet 5783. 

My Jewish name is Yehudit Maryam, a gender dubious name most often associated with boys. My name and the one on my driver's license is Joanne Marie, a shortened version of my baptized name Giuseppina Annamaria; my grandparents way of feminizing Joseph, my grandfather's name. I was the third girl in four years, and his name needed to be honored. This hand wave my being an important part of my birth family became an unimportant redundancy when my parent's fifth child was a boy and became Millard Joseph, II.

I have also used as a general moniker multiple nick names over the years like Jo, JoD, Deb, Debbie (surname starts with DeB) and Marie, Mimi. In my adolescent and early adulthood I was also known as Honor, Bennet, Spike and Baby by different groups I socialized with that seemed determined to rename all members with something out of a B-movie. 

So when my neurologist or PA does the quarterly questions of name, date and time, for me, answering is more complicated than they realize. As is introducing myself.

The instructions on writing a successful Blog says I should introduce myself, indicate the date or season, invite the reader into the discussion and inform them of the purpose of my Blog.

So that is my introduction of sorts, and here is my invitation to follow and read. I have a few other Blogs out there in the Blogosphere, but maintaining a website has become more difficult, and my last entry on Blogspot was in 2010, just before my son created my website. So I hope you do join my journey here, midsentence of in the final section of an epic life. 

As complicated as my introduction was, compared to the purpose of this blog and the plot twists of the last couple years, it is simple.

So I will say that in the last year I have lost a son who I barely knew, born when I was 13; the wonderful Queer man who was a Daddy to my late husband's and my sons; the Mr. Claus to my Mrs. Claus, the ability to stand or walk with consistency and another small part of my mind.

I am barely in my 60's but my VA Hospital medical chart begins the list of Medical Problems with Mild Mixed Dementia and follows with TBI, suspected Alzheimer's disease, HBP with vascular disease, MDD, PTSD, DID, Meniere's disease, BCA, Neuropathy, ASD, Fibromyalgia and goes on and on and on still with multiple other attempts to explain, categorize and treat the pain, the falls, the decreasing social social and verbal skills, the nightmares and hoplessness.

Basically its multiple doctors and tests trying to make logical sense of the changes in me; a way to chart and explain why instead of just losing my keys, I've lost the ability to safely drive.

So the purpose of this blog is, I guess, to connect with others who might be struggling with their or a loved ones frightening, socially unacceptable, and/or nebulous now.

I have really searched for any group that provides support or information about this part of the descent into the maze of progressive dementia, and found nothing. It seems nobody wants to admit and address the parts  of living with dementia before we need full time supervision.

 Although my observation skills tell me neurodivergence and mental illness are also shared in my demographic, it is a hushed shame filled secret for those living in Senior facilities. The kind of trendy wearing and embracing  letters like ASD. MDD and PTSD in those 30 years old and below, is as foreign to my peers as body positivity.

So here I am again, making what I need and can't find. I hope someone else, who is also looking for this kind of community, finds me. 

I know you are out there.

And maybe you have a Blog I can read. Or maybe we can start a dialogue in the comments.

Or maybe I will just be whistling in the wind.

Who knows, only time will tell.

This was a lot easier to keep straight before my mind and body began its final rebellion.